A Special Guest Blog Review of "My Way Of Life" by Freelance Writer Julie Reynolds
My Way of Life
By
Joan Crawford
Originally
published by Simon & Schuster, 1971
Reprinted
by Graymalkin Media, 2017
Although they both cringed whenever it was suggested, Joan
Crawford and Bette Davis had a number of things in common. Among them was the fact that they both
authored books (with the help of co-authors or ghost writers) about their lives
and viewpoints on various subjects. In
1971, with her 46-year acting career winding down, and nearing the end of her
tenure as board member and goodwill ambassador for Pepsi Cola, Joan Crawford
penned My Way of Life. (Davis’ books
were The Lonely Life, published in 1962, and This ‘n’ That with Michael
Herskowitz in 1987).
She
had written her autobiography nine years earlier, and countless magazine
articles over the decades; but My Way of Life is Crawford’s literary magnum
opus in a surreal sort of way. It is part
memoir, part advice book for executive wives.
It is a “how to have it all” blueprint for the modern woman of the
1970s. It is also Crawford’s
contribution to a genre of publishing that, perhaps unofficially, is known as
“gracious living”. Although this genre
is still going strong today with Martha Stewart as its most obvious heir, its
heyday was the 1960s and ‘70s, when celebrities and society figures published
wonderful coffee table books dispensing their advice on everything from
entertaining and decorating to how to keep a man and live one’s life with
panache. (One excellent example is My
Favorite Things by Dorothy Rodgers, the wife of composer Richard Rodgers and
renowned hostess – who, by the way, concurs with Joan about many points
regarding entertaining. When I read Dorothy’s fine points on taste and texture
balance in one’s dinner menu, I thought, “I already learned that from Joan!”)
My
Way of Life was out of print for decades, and until recently, was hard to
obtain without spending several hundred dollars online. Happily, due to the recent success of the FX series
“Feud: Bette and Joan”, My Way of Life has been re-released and is now available,
and affordable, in paperback and Kindle versions. And trust me, it is required reading for everyone
from the casual to the hardcore Joan Crawford fan.
In
this comprehensive, well-meaning, sometimes over-the-top and out-of-touch book
(which makes it even more fabulous), Joan Crawford discusses in detail the
following topics:
• Marriage (four times married, Crawford
provides a brief but candid assessment of why her first three marriages failed
and her part in it)
• Decorating
• Entertaining (lots of menu suggestions
and some of her favorite recipes)
• Women in business: The Do’s and Don’ts (to quote the fictional Barbara Bennett in a
certain film we all know, how to “have it all – a career, home and famileee!!”)
• Clothes – Joan’s and yours. This is a lengthy chapter, and fair warning:
Joan already suspects that in all likelihood, your wardrobe is tragic, and you
will need to toss it all and build an entirely new wardrobe befitting your way of life. But fear not – she tells you how.
• Diet and fitness (Joan believes in
good, whole foods - protein, vegetables, fruits)
• Skin care and cosmetics
• Hair
• Charm
(it can be cultivated, but never faked)
A
theme winds its way through the whole book that is a key to how Joan Crawford approached
everything in her life. You can, indeed,
have it all if you employ
Organization, Planning, and Hard Work.
Discipline, discipline, discipline.
Some
of the advice is, admittedly, either hilariously out of touch or just plain
odd, and you’ll savor every word of it.
But paradoxically, Joan had a very down-to-earth, streetwise side to
her, and there are some real gems in My Way of Life that it wouldn’t hurt us a
bit to appropriate today, such as taking pride in one’s appearance, especially
when we go out in public.
Let’s
talk about that one for a minute. Admittedly,
by 1971 some of Joan’s fashion directives were already becoming passé. For example, older women still wore hats and
gloves, but as everyday accessories, certainly for younger women, they were
already going the way of the corset – and to Joan’s outrage, pants in public for
women were here to stay.
But
what Joan knew all too well is that, fairly or unfairly, we are judged, at least in part, by our
appearance. And don’t you just feel
better when you make the effort and go out knowing
you look you best? People treat you
differently. You treat others
differently. Besides physical
attributes, you just give off a whole different vibe than when you slink into a
store, a mess behind the sunglasses, praying you don’t run into anyone you know. At least that’s my experience. Joan knew what she was talking about, and in an
era when websites like “People of Walmart” exist, her call to attractiveness
and good grooming is sorely needed today.
She
also knew what she was talking about when it came to keeping one’s partner
interested. “Surprise him…You have to be
attractive, sexy, to him.” Don’t take
each other for granted, she advises: “There
should always be a precious time together at the end of the working day. Turn off the phone, ignore the door, pour a
glass of wine or fruit juice. Shed the
world and learn about each other in your own romantic oasis.” Great advice that’s even more relevant in
today’s environment of chronic information overload than when it was
written.
My
Way of Life is a treasure trove of information on Joan Crawford’s way of life
and her advice on how to successfully design your own. It really must be experienced. Some weekend soon, why not pamper yourself
with a homemade facial of apple puree and sour cream (for precisely 20 minutes) and curl up with this book? Then, change into riotously colorful hostess
pajamas, have your friends over, and serve them a delicious buffet supper
starting with appetizers of peanut butter and bacon on toasted black bread. Believe me, you’ll thank Miss Crawford later.
Julie
Reynolds is a freelance writer, voice actor, and an irreverent but devoted fan
of Joan Crawford.
She can be reached at
juliereynoldsonline@gmail.com.
